Bake Fail

Go ahead and laugh.

I was feeling uppity after Sunday's relative baking success.  I forgot that I shouldn't try cookies on my own.  

It all started out looking promising....

and in fairness, the peanut butter cookies turned out.  But really, how hard are they?  They're off to the salon this morning for my co-workers.  They are under the impression that I can bake due to repeated appearances of these babies.

But for those of you coming to the Manor for Easter, I'm dreadfully sorry.  You'll have your choice of a navy blue wrinkly butterfly, an institutional green chick or various burnt bunnies, eggs and tulips.  

Beg pardon, the Earl has eaten the burnt bunny.

The Earl:  That's crispy.

Me:  Shut up.

Thankfully, the Manor guests are upper crust and are bringing lovely provisions, and I believe a dessert is in order.

Koulourakia

Princess Pooalot came to the Manor today.  She came with her Mummy and Daddy, the Countess du Greece and Duke Zeus and her Yia Yia's recipe for Koulourakia, a traditional Greek Easter cookie.  As I mentioned before, it's Princess Poo's very first Easter. She's still toothless, but is that a reason to miss out on important holiday cookie baking?  I think not.  Others surely can eat her share this year.  I'm certain we can all pitch in and help her out.  Yes?  I thought so.

Here's the cast of characters according to Yia Yia Katie's recipe:

Mostly it's the cast.  I notice that the flour and baking powder are absent.  But the important parts are posing there very nicely...butter, eggs and sugar.  The oranges are sitting there smugly, looking very...well...smug aren't they?   They provide a lovely fragrant and irreplaceable nuance to the finished cookie, and vitamin C of course.  

You aren't able to see, but the recipe is in Greek so Duke Zeus was imperative to the process.  The Countess could discern bits and blurbs, but this is an exacting task and we needed the Duke's expertise.  To tell us when we had added "enough flour that the dough looked nice", or just exactly what a "medium" oven is, for instance.  You know, the finer deets.  Yia Yia Katie is one of those born cooks and bakers.  She bakes by feel and the position of the stars, using not much more than a coffee cup for measurement.  Me?  I'm not so comfy with baking.  I can come up with some kind of hot mess, people.  Consider the Parmesan Knots for yesterday's dinner...lovely golden on the outside looking very promising and completely raw on the inside.  And these were concocted from a tube of biscuits.  Oh, and the muffins for church yesterday?  I watched a friend peel off the cute little paper (which admittedly looked a little scorched, but I didn't have time to do an inspection before rushing out the door for crying out loud) to reveal what looked like a Kingsford Bricquet.  So yeah, baking is a bit of a mystery to me.  In addition, Yia Yia Katie has this wonder called a Thermo Mix.  I think it mixes and bakes all in one or something.  It makes my sexy red KitchenAid look like something out of a Fisher Price kitchenette.

But we must make do at the Manor, for the sake of the children.....

It's too bad I don't have a picture of the egg fluffing, because it was a sight to behold.  Three whole eggs and 3 yolks beaten with 1 cup of sugar until the mixture was beautifully yellow and fluffy.  Above, you can see where we almost got into trouble...the adding of the flour.  The recipe called for 9 cups of flour.  Now, that's alot of flour in anybody's book, no?  We later found another recipe for Koulourakia from Yia Yia Katie calling for far less flour.  Here's where you need to actually need to know "when the dough looks nice".  You can just barely see Princess Poo's weensy foot in the lower left of the picture.  Something in her tiny little Greekness was shuddering (hence the blurry weensy foot) at the abandon with which I added 8 cups of flour to the laboring mixer.

Me:  Do you think that's right?  That's alot of flour.

Duke Zeus:  That's alot of flour.

Countess:  Is that right, honey?

Duke Zeus:  I don't know.  I don't bake.   (me:  WHAT?)

Princess Poo:.................

Me:  We can throw it out and start over.  Really, it's okay.  (this is how I handle things)

Here's where I went next.

After some hand wringing over the flour situation, we decided against throwing out $10 worth of dough and let it rest while some among us had a bottle to calm ourselves.

When it came time to bake, we decided that a medium oven was 350 degrees (after the first batch, we upped it to 375 and that seemed just right).

Grab a wad of the dough in your arthritic hand about the size of a small egg.

Roll it into about a 10 inch snake.  Yia Yia Katie does this between her hands, but I simply couldn't get that down.  So I polished my counters with the dough.

Fold the snake in half and twist.  Make sure you have a mani before you make Koulourakia, and do choose a nuclear pinky purple.  It's so springy, you know?

My proudest moment (and we could only go up from the Parmesan Knots) was when Duke Zeus observed the finished product and said.....

"....this row here, I could not separate from my mom's."

Me:  contented sigh.

I should point out, he was speaking of the row in front, not the row in back.  Those little fatties didn't get glazed.

Personally, this one is my favorite.  I can't help but think of a plump little lady laying there with her legs crossed.

Yia Yia Katie's Koulourakia

3 eggs

3 egg yolks

1 c sugar

1 c butter (melted)

zest of 2 oranges

9 c flour (I'm saying 9 because that's what Yia Yia Katie wrote, but full disclosure - methinks 6-7 c)

8 t baking powder

1 t  salt

1/2 c milk

glaze:  1 egg yolk & 1 spoon of milk 

Beat eggs, yolks and sugar at high speed until fluffy.  With the mixer running, slowly add the cooled butter.  Add zest and milk.  Mix.  Add the salt and baking powder and begin adding the flour.  You want a moderately stiff, but not terribly dry dough.  Let the dough rest for 15 or 20 minutes.

With small egg sized balls of dough, roll into a snake, fold and twist.  You can also make the snakes into spirals, if you like.  Place on cookie sheet (I used a seasoned stoneware, so I'm not sure about greasing issues on a metal sheet - I probably wouldn't for the first batch) and bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes.  They should be lovely golden brown.

Koulourakia are wonderful with coffee (or tea, I'm told).  They are slightly sweet with just a hint of orange.  They will keep in an airtight container for a couple of weeks apparently.  I highly doubt if they'll last before the Earl and I eat them, so I won't be able to confirm that.

Okay, you'll notice that there is no vanilla and no sesame seeds in Yia Yia's recipe.  Others I found on the internets had both, the sesame seeds being sprinkled on top.  These are delicious as is, I really wouldn't change a thing, and this is what Duke Zeus grew up with.  And that's what I was hoping for, to help replicate what was familiar, for him and his wife and tiny beautiful daughter.

Wicked Good

I'm participating, along with Terry at Moss and Clover, in a cooking club.  We're over at I Heart Cooking Clubs and getting naked with Jamie Oliver for the next six months.  Should be fun.  The idea is to create some inspiration for the Manor kitchen and broaden the old repertoire.  I've been familiar with Jamie since early Food Network days.  His teeny apartment with it's teenier kitchen where he created simple, delicious, brilliant food appealed to me immediately. I loved his philosophy of simple and fun food and, well, I've always been a sucker for an accent.  Plus, he's pretty dang cute.
Though I've oogled Jamie, I don't think I've ever cooked one of his recipes. This week's theme is Happy Days with Jamie. To initiate myself I decided on a simple recipe of fish and chips. Simple makes me happy. His recipe called for haddock or cod, but I had a piece of halibut that I needed to use, so we went with it.  Using what I have makes me happy.  Simple and happy....

The participants:

Ignore the canister of coffee, that's not part of the show.  The paper towels do have a supporting role, however.

You'll take that cup of flour, dump it into a bowl and add a cup of that beer, a little salt and stir that up.  I won't judge you if you use Pabst instead of Heineken, but really you'll have 6 ounces or so to finish off, so why not enjoy it?  Those eggs?, you ask...you'll only need the whites.  To do this:

See those lovely soft peaks?  That's what ya need.  Not meringue.

Fold those sweet little soft peaks into the flour and beer mixture with your pirate spatula.  Be gentle here.  You just want to incorporate the egg whites with the flour/beer mixture. 

Now you're ready to take your fish swimming in a lovely, frothy beer bath before they jump into a hot tub of 350 degree oil....

See how poofy the batter gets in the hot tub?  Gorgeous.

While the fish is draining on the aforementioned paper towels cook the potatoes, plate, and humbly accept the compliments coming your way.  That should make you very happy.

 Brilliant!  Crispy coating and tender fish, crispy chips.  Brilliant, I tell you.

Fish and Chips 

Jamie Oliver

4 servings

For the chips:

3 3/4 pints vegetable oil

2 lbs. floury potatoes, like russets, peeled and cut into large chips (I didn't peel ours)

For the batter:

1 c flour

1 c beer

2 egg whites, whipped to soft peaks

salt

4 (9 oz) fillets haddock or cod, skin on and pin boned

Directions:

Pour all the vegetable oil into a deep pan or deep fat fryer, and heat to 300 degrees F.  Blanch the cut potatoes in the oil until soft, but not colored, about 4 minutes.  Remove and drain.

Mix together the flour and the beer, then fold in the egg whites.  Turn up the heat on the oil to 350 degrees F. Dip the fish in the batter and fry for a few mintues with the chips until golden brown.

Drain on kitchen paper and serve with bread and butter, wallys (battered, deep fried pickles served with ranch dressing), and pickled eggs. (We declined the wallys and pickled eggs and had coleslaw instead). 

Try it, simple and yummy!

Busy Weekend

It was a very busy weekend around the Manor.  So busy, in fact I forgot to take pictures, so you'll just have to imagine the goings on.  The Earl and I spent Friday night visiting and dining with friends.  The hostess asked me to bring a coleslaw to go with dinner ( it turned out to be corned beef, and I was thrilled because I missed fixing corned beef and cabbage on St. Patty's), so I fixed this one and it was so good.  As per usual, I didn't have all the exact ingredients, so I substituted a mixture of milk and white vinegar for the buttermilk (it makes me wretch, so I don't keep it in the house, but I do understand it has magical powers as an ingredient.  But still...) and left out the lemon juice entirely.  There was apparently a lemon heist at the Manor last week, because the lemons I thought I had, I did not.

I worked on Saturday, beautifying my neck of the woods.....

......aaaand the Earl and I were having a dinner party for 9 on Saturday evening.  It wasn't a typical dinner party, but a little thang that we call Supper 8 (or in our case, 9).  When we first started attending our church a couple of years ago I signed us up for Supper 8 right away as a way to get to know people.  I did another thing that I thought would be a good way to meet people too, but that's for another time.  Eeenyhoo, the idea is you are put into a group of approximately 3 other couples, or a mix of couples and singles to equal 8-10.  Each couple hosts a get-together, dinner, breakfast, Sunday lunch - whatever the group decides, once during the go-around.  As host and hostess, you plan the meal and provide the main dish and the others fill in with sides, salad and dessert.  I typically like to do a roast or some other budget-busting thing because it's simple and most of all, everyone really enjoys it.  And it's a great excuse to serve some of my favorite wine or this one.  I don't really need an excuse, but I like to keep up appearances.

This time for our turn at hosting the Earl requested my lasagna.  Since I haven't fixed lasagna for a loooong time, probably since the Duke and Countess du Greece were in residence I figured I could oblige him.  When we got home of Friday night, I set to it.

The Lady's Lasagna

(measurements are approximate, and vary with the amount of wine consumed whilst cooking - but close)

1 lb. ground beef

1 1b. Italian sausage (we used to like hot, but we're old now and I use sweet)

1/2 of a medium to large onion, chopped

2-3 cloves of garlic, crushed (use a garlic crusher so you get all that awesome juice, too)

  Saute and crumble this mixture until it's nice and brown.  Add:

28 oz. can tomatoes (I use 2 cans of chopped tomatoes - those that they claim are roasted - I dunno, are    they?)

2 cans tomato paste

about 1/2 c water or earthy red wine

2 T sugar (depends on my mood whether it's brown or white)

2 t dried basil (I always crush it in my hands as I put it in)

1 1/2 t dried oregano (again, crush)

1 T salt (don't skimp here)

1/4 t or so black pepper

a good handful of fresh parsley, chopped

  Simmer this, covered for 1 - 1 1/2 hrs.

Meanwhile, have a sip of your earthy wine and bring a big pot of salted water to boil.  Slip in 12 dry lasagna noodles.  If you want to use fresh noodles, I'll not quibble.  They're delicious, but I can rarely find them easily. I will make a judgement about 'no boil' noodles, though.  They're an abomination in my opinion. When using dry noodles, it takes about 7-8 minutes for them to reach the point I like.  I don't want them completely done.  When ready, drain, rinse and toss with a little olive oil.  Lay them flat on sheets of foil until you're ready to assemble.

Also meanwhile (this stuff keeps you busy), mix:

16 oz. ricotta cheese (I've used cottage cheese here, too)

2 eggs

3/4 c grated parmesan (people, I implore you, ditch the green can and buy grated or shred your own)
a little dried parsley here is nice but there will be no judgement made should you decide against it
When ready to assemble, you will also need:
8 oz. cream cheese (shocking, I know)
about 3/4 lb. sliced mozzarella (fresh is out of this world, but the other works fine, too)
about 1/2 - 3/4 c shredded parmesan

Assembly:
Lay four noodles flat, overlapping slightly on the bottom of a deep-ish rectangular pan (at least 9x13).  Top with a layer of meat sauce, a layer of the ricotta mixture, slices of mozzarella and then knobs of cream cheese.  Repeat twice.  Make sure you have good meat and cheese coverage.  The last layer should be:  noodles, ricotta mixture (thinner layer is fine),small knobs of cream cheese, meat sauce, mozzarella and top with shredded parmesan.  It's now time for a good rest in the oven, at 325 degrees for about 45 minutes.  The cheese on top will get deliciously bubbly and brownish - and the aroma in your house will drive you mad I tell you.  Do your best to let it rest for 10 minutes or so before cutting into it.
Easily 12 servings.

Enjoy with delightful people, vino delicious and Puccini for a memorable evening with new friends.  Or old friends, if you must.  If your friends are as wonderful as ours, they will bring delicious bread, salad and fruit to round out the meal and tiramisu for dessert.  And you'll fall into bed satisfied in every way.

If your friends are not that wonderful, you'll at least have some delicious lasagna while you ponder broadening your circle of peeps.

Buona notte per ora i miei amici

Le Birthday Sunday

Today is our youngest daughter-in-law's birthday and we're having a leetle dinner soiree in her honor.  I'm taking a little break from the Manor kitchen to recharge and make sure that I haven't forgotten anything.  Besides forgetting to make the salad dressing yesterday, that is.
For her cake, I'm using what's become my go-to scrumchie chocolate cake and the most amazing frosting I've   ever tasted.  I first tasted this cake and frosting in cupcake form at a book signing for Alicia Paulson's book Embroidery Companion.  My daughter, the Countess du Greece introduced me to her blog, Posie Gets Cozy several years ago.  It was so much fun to meet her, and she brought cupcakes to boot!  The cake recipe is from Hershey's, and it's great, but the frosting is one her mother makes.  Don't be put off by the teeeeny bit of work it will take to make it, people will be swooning and dropping just plain dead from chocolatey/sugary ecstasy right in front of you.  And that's so worth it. I give you le recipe:  Alicia's (and mine) Go-to Birthday Cake.

Now, the Duke's wife the Countess de Couv, is actually older than 11.  We're not weird at the Manor.  Well, not that weird. It's hard to remember everything on your shopping list when it's at home.  Ya know?  So we multiply these candles by something and add something (or not) and square root the base and you've got it.

Here's the flour and milk goop from the frosting (which, as it turns out, is called Butter Roux Frosting) when it's ready to sit on the counter for an hour or three before it gets whipped to within an inch of its life along with the powdered sugar.  

See how pudding-esque it is?

After it has cooled, add the powdered sugar and beat the daylights out of it until you have boofy clouds of yummy......

Be sure to use your pirate utensils.  It helps awfully.

I was reminded tonight of something I'd forgotten.  While this frosting is plenty for 18 cupcakes, for some reason it's a little skimpy on a 2-layer cake.  When I make it again I'll do it as Alicia does, leaving the sides nekkid.  The dark chocolate-y cake looks really striking with white clouds of fluffy frosting on top.  Sort of like you do when you have a good tan and blond hair.   I told myself  I'd do that last time I made it.  Nekkid sides, I mean.  It's so complicated being me, I can't remember everything all the time.

Before we dove into the Countess' cake (and low-fat ice cream - what's that about?), we dined on The Pioneer Woman's Perfect Pot Roast.  Honestly, what does one do without the internets for recipes?  Use one of the 75-ish cookbooks one has?  Pfft..

This is the first time I've made this and I'm sold people.  I grew up on my mother's pot roast and had not moved too far afield - chuck roast, onions, potatoes and carrots topped with a packet of onion soup mix and covered with a can of cream of mushroom soup.  Wrap that in enough foil to build a plane and stick it in the oven for many hours on a low temp.  That was good, and always rang nostalgic every time I fixed it,  but it was perfectly boring. Not to mention off the charts sodium-wise.  Ree's recipe was fun to make, different for me and absolutely delicious.

This made super gravy, too.  Gravy used to be an enigma to me, but since my other daughter-in-law over at Moss and Clover told me the secret formula (if you use 2 T fat, then use 2 T flour and nearly 2 c liquid), I'm doing much better, I must say. Rosemary rolls, smashed potatoes (gravy platform) and tossed salad rounded out our birthday dinner.  Yum.

After dinner we engaged in Manor games, where we sorely missed the Countess du Greece's hubs, Duke Zeus who was benched due to a bad cold.

Princess Pooalot demonstrated atrocious manners and sat on the table with bare feet, which she is absolutely allowed to do.  So if she visits you and and does the same, you are to say nothing.  Except how adorable the Princess Pooalot is. And I mean it.

Happy birthday to the Countess de Couv!

Julia

I've had a long love affair with Julia Child.  I remember when I first became aware of her in the mid '60's.  Her unmistakable voice made me stop as I passed through the room (the "new room" that was the former garage) with the television.  I was at my friend since 5th grade house and her family watched PBS.  We didn't, so I always felt high brow at E's house when PBS was on.  I must have been fascinated with Julia's control of the scene, the elegant things she talked about (fois gras - whatever that was), and her pearls.  Those pearls.  So lovely.   Anyway, before too long E and I realized that her mother was in possession of a chafing dish (gasp), and was also absent from the house (double gasp).  I honestly can't remember if it was Cherries Jubilee or Crepes Suzette that we decided to make.  Here's what I do remember:  brandy and fire and fear.   In that order.  We were somewhere around 11 or 12.  Nonetheless, it began a journey for me that will never be finished and is always interesting and has been a gateway to other creative jaunts.

Whenever I'm feeling high-brow in the culinary sense I go back to my smeary editions of Mastering and try something new that stretches me.  In more ways than one, I might add.

Lately, I've been reminded of Julia's baking genius with her recipe for Pain de Mie (White Sandwich Bread - for sandwiches, canapes [cuz I make lots of those, pfft], toast and croutons).   It's from Mastering The Art of French Cooking, Volume Two.  I think it's the nicest loaf of sandwich bread I've ever made.  It's a close-grained loaf, absolutely fab for grilled sandwiches and toast.  We love it plain or toasted.  It shouldn't be confused with a chewy crusted rustic loaf (also heavenly), but an everyday workaholic loaf of bread for your family to enjoy in sandwiches, slathered with butter or jam or with morning eggs.  Merveilleux!
Because of copyright concerns, I won't be posting the entire recipe, but I'll show you some of the process.  It can be found in the Volume Two book on page 75.  Or leave me a comment with your email and I'll be happy to send it to you.

My deary, smeary Mastering, Volume Two.

I use my food processor (Julia says it's okay).  I throw in 3 1/2 c of flour (a word here:  I prefer King Arthur, I swear it makes a difference), pulse it a few times and, with the machine running pour in the wet ingredients:  yeast dissolved in 3 T warm water and 1 1/3 c warm water in which 2 t of salt have been dissolved.  I run the machine until the whole thing looks like this (above).  It's really shaggy.  Dump it out onto a very lightly floured board and knead in 4 T of butter with the heels of your hand (or feet, it's your kitchen).
Form the dough into a ball and put the wad in a large-ish bowl.  Cover it and wait for it to double (another word:  I set the bowl on a folded towel to insulate it from my cold tile counters and set it under the light over my stove - perfect temperature).  When it has doubled (could take 2 hours), flop it out onto a floured board, push it into a rectangle, fold it, rectangle it, fold it again and back into the bowl for the second rise.

Before the first rising.  This is the only bread that I cover with plastic wrap during the rise. Don't know why, but it is and it works.

All poofed and purdy, ready to be smacked and folded.

Bread rectangle.  Soft, yeasty and lovely.

Here's a hoot:  the pan that Julia suggests is $33 (on sale).  It's one of those with a sliding lid thingy.  She also illustrates this pauper method and it works fine.  Be sure to oil the baking pan that's acting like a lid.  Make sure you weigh the loaves down securely.  Those suckers are powerful.

There, I didn't actually give you the recipe, did I?  I'll show you the finished loaves later.  If I remember to take a picture before I accidentally eat them.

Bon appetit!

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